Television Turmoil: Cavemen tried and failed to make a sitcom out of a mascot

Television Turmoil is a look at the worst and weirdest series to make their way onto the small screen.

Advertising and television have always had a connection. From the early days where one sponsor would support an entire program to today, where the fractured media landscape leaves multiple avenues for targeted advertisements. Commercials are the lifeblood of TV. As depressing as it sounds, they’re the reason most everything seen on screen is there. As successful as some commercials can be with audiences, it is rare that one becomes an actual show. The biggest reason for this likely comes from how often commercials rely on repetition of the same joke or point. Something might work well in a 30-second bit, but fall flat when expanded into a full program.

None of this seemed to concern ABC when they green-lit Cavemen in early 2007. Based on the popular GEICO Cavemen ads, the series was pitched as a “clever twist on stereotypes” and aimed to be a satire of race in America. This concept isn’t too far off from what the commercials had offered in the three years prior to the show.

Created in 2004, the advertisement’s original purpose was to show how easy and intuitive GEICO’s website was. “So easy a caveman can do it,” the ad claimed, to the chagrin of the caveman who is on set. Other ads have various Cro-Magnons, all portrayed as normal, everyday people, reacting to the ad campaign with typical disgust. As far as commercials go, they’re pretty good, even if they clearly want you to laugh at the cavemen for being offended. So, how do you adapt a one joke commercial into a full sitcom?

If the pilot of Cavemen is to be believed, the answer is to double down on that joke and make it as distasteful as possible. Similar to the commercials, the show takes place in a world where Cro-Magnons are a sub-species of human and treated like another minority. The pilot makes this excruciatingly clear. An opening scene finds our trio of cavemen watching the news cover a recent crime where the suspect is believed to be a fellow Caveperson, complete with offensive sketch. “Why is it always a caveman?” Nick (Nick Kroll, who really tries his best here) shouts at the TV. It is just the first of many instances of the show leaning into the stereotypes it claims to be satirizing.

The primary focus of the pilot is on Joel Claybrook (Bill English) who attends a private barbecue hosted by his girlfriend, Kate (Kaitlin Doubleday) and her parents. Joel’s buddies tag along, and many race-based shenanigans ensue. Joel tries to get the blessing of Kate’s father, worried that he disapproves of her dating a caveman. There’s a subplot about Kate’s friend, Thorne (Stephanie Lemelin) trying to sleep with one of the other cavemen to see if the sex is “wild.” There is even a gag revealing that cavepeople occasionally use the term “magger” to refer to each other. A made-up slur that is a stand-in and sound-alike for a very real one. It’s no wonder that the limited screening of the pilot received harsh criticism. So much so that the episode never aired on ABC and the show quietly retooled.

The second episode, which acted as the show’s broadcast premiere, recast the third caveman, Andy (now played by Sam Huntington) and toned down the more overt racial elements. While these changes helped both the cast dynamic and the overall quality of the show, the series still focused on using the cavemen as a stand-in for various races. The ABC premiere involves Joel worrying that Kate is afraid to reveal their relationship to her friends. Further episodes involve Nick getting a teaching job only to learn the school has an offensive caveman mascot, Andy finding stand-up success by playing into stereotypes and Joel’s new friend possibly being a “shaver,” a caveman who shaves their body hair to appear Homo Sapian.

These are all clever ways of exploring race compared to anything provided in the pilot. The back half of the show’s 13 episodes is a clear improvement. Sadly, it all came too late. By the time the 7th episode aired, the Writer’s Guild had gone on strike, and ABC saw a perfect opportunity to cut bait. The remaining episodes never made air, and Cavemen cemented its status as an all-time punchline.

Even with some improved writing in the later episodes, the show’s biggest problem remained. For a show fixated on exploring race in America, it was exclusively white. It only places further attention on what the exact intent was with portraying the cavemen as a stand-in for all minorities. By excluding actual people of color from the conversation, the show feels less like a commentary and more like preaching to an all-white choir.

By now, we’ve all figured out the actual reason though. No one involved in creating this show was actually interested in exploring race. Even when the show hits on something close to actual commentary, it backs away quickly. Falling back into the tired sitcom structure that the show set up for itself.

Even if it had attempted to involve actual minorities, it is unlikely Cavemen would have ever evolved past the state it currently rests in. It all comes back to the program’s original sin. Basing a show on a widely seen commercial was never going to work out. It feels crass in a way that would never sit well with a chunk of your audience. A marketing tool being adapted into a vehicle for selling even more products. It’s a capitalist dream! It makes sense that critics were merciless to it and that audiences soon caught on to how unoriginal the program actually was.

Perhaps if Cavemen had been an authentic creation, it might have had more time to find its feet. But even without the show’s reliance on race, there wasn’t much to offer. It was a fairly average sitcom setup with thoroughly uninteresting characters. All it had going for it was the premise, which it couldn’t even claim as its own. Premise alone is enough in the world of commercials, but it can only take you so far outside of it.

Next Time: We return to NBC for one of the most infamous clunkers of all time, the shape-shifting blunder of Manimal.

Malice is a tepid thriller full of predictable turns

Photo: Prime Video

Malice lets you in on what it’s doing right away. From the moment we meet Adam (Jake Whitehall), we’re informed that he is here to ruin the life of this rich family. He doesn’t say it, but the way his kind mask drops when alone gives it away. Specifically, he’s here to ruin the life of venture capitalist Jamie Tanner (David Duchovny). The type of noble cause that would normally put us on Adam’s side were it not clear that he’ll eventually go way overboard in search of revenge.

Vengeance is the core theme of Malice, something the show never lets you forget. This is a series that ends its opening scene with a snake in the swimming pool. Moments later, Adam arrives. Later in the same episode, he gives a whole monologue about the Greek god of retribution. You see, Adam is a tutor for the Tanner’s friends/clients Damien and Jules (Raza Jaffrey and Christine Adams). They invite him on their vacation to Greece, and that is where the most one-sided game of cat-and-mouse begins.

While Malice lets us in on Adam’s deal early, it keeps his actual motivations a secret until shockingly late. Instead, the viewer watches his plan unfold with no real context for why it’s happening. That his reasoning is easily predictable just makes the secretive nature even more confounding. It is one of many elements in the series that kindly asks the viewer to turn off their brains.

Still, there’s a certain charm to this kind of dull eat-the-rich style story. Most of that charm comes down to Duchovny and Whitehall. While the story keeps them from truly being at odds until the end, the duo have an energy that keeps the whole affair breezy. After all these years, Duchovny still has a way of making even the sleaziest asshole seem fascinating. To his credit, Whitehall captures the intensity of Adam’s commitment to this scheme. Their ability doesn’t elevate the material like other recent shows have, but it’s an admirable effort.

When it’s not hitting you over the head with visual metaphors, Malice is gorgeous to watch. That’s part of the advantage of starting your show in Greece. It’s a shame that most of the actual events are so flat. The bones of a great thriller are here, but they never come together. What we’re left with is another streaming miniseries that feels like a novel you buy for the beach. Fun in the moment, before your brain picks it apart.

Malice is currently streaming on Prime Video.

Final Verdict: Tune Out

I Love LA tackles influencer culture with a fresh perspective

Rachel Sennott has been walking a fine line her entire career. Her breakout roles in Shiva Baby and Bottoms (which she co-wrote) established her as a talent on the rise. Sennott’s ability to balance the high-wire act of satire and absurdism while still finding human elements to her characters is impressive, to say the least. It was only a matter of time before she got to fully helm a project.

I Love LA plays like a mix of fellow HBO hits Girls and Entourage with a satirical edge. The series follows four friends as they navigate life in Los Angeles while balancing their professional and personal ambitions. As a concept, it’s pretty tried and true, but where the show differs is in its perspective. The show knows these characters are vapid and a little insufferable, and it invites you in on that joke early.

Sennott plays Maia, an aspiring talent manager who takes her friend Tallulah (Odessa A’zion) on as a client when she moves to LA. The relationship between the two is the focus, which often relegates the other cast members to B-plot status. There’s Charlie (Jordan Firstman) a celebrity stylist desperately trying to seem above it all, and Alani (True Whitaker) the daughter of a famous actor, who is chronically ignorant of her privilege. Josh Hutcherson rounds out the cast as Maia’s boyfriend, Dylan, acting as the audience surrogate by being the most down-to-Earth.

I Love LA strikes a tricky balance in the way it keeps the characters self-absorbed while also being funny. That the cast succeeds is a testament to their ability. Sennott and A’zion are the most assured. Maia and Tallulah are in the type of codependent relationship that will blow up eventually. The only thing holding this series back is the lack of real stakes. It fits with the LA culture the show is portraying, but ruins our investment. It doesn’t help that the show often trades consistent laughs for an authentic recreation of that culture. I’m not asking for full absurdism here, just more comedy.

Like Sennott’s previous work, I Love LA will probably be hit-or-miss for many people. The blend of vacuous characters, cringe comedy, and the lightest touch of satire won’t work for everyone. Those who enjoy it will find just enough under the surface to keep them coming back. If you’re like me, you’ll find a cast waiting for the chance to break out. Here’s hoping they get that opportunity.

I Love LA is currently streaming on HBO Max. New episodes air on Sundays.

Final Verdict: Tune In

The Beast in Me holds strong thanks to two fantastic performances

Photo: Netflix

If you take the time to look through the Netflix library, you’ll notice some trends with its programming. This is thanks to the ever-present algorithm that both suggests shows you might enjoy and helps Netflix decide what to produce. The specific trend I want to discuss is the tendency to market a show with two known actors at the forefront. Whether it’s Jason Bateman and Jude Law or Taylor Kitsch and Betsy Gilpin, you better believe Netflix is going to put them front and center. It’s basic marketing 101, especially for a streaming service all about the endless binge. With The Beast in Me, Netflix has found its best pairing yet.

A psychological thriller from The X-Files’ Gabe Rotter and Homeland’s Howard Gordon, The Beast in Me pits Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys against one another. Danes is Aggie Wiggs, a grieving author struggling to write her next book. Rhys plays Nile Jarvis, the son of a real estate magnate who moves next door to lie low after being accused of his first wife’s murder. There’s an instant spark between the two. Nile believes he’s found a kindred spirit, and Aggie’s discovered a new subject for her book.

If you’re looking for a new murder mystery, The Beast in Me isn’t much of one. While there are truths waiting to be uncovered, the information points to exactly who you’d expect. Instead, the show plays as a character study of two people drawn to each other despite their best interests. So much so that it struggles to hold itself together when they’re not on screen.

Danes and Rhys are electric. Their scenes together create tension. It’s thrilling to watch the duo circle each other, both waiting for the chance to strike. Rhys is playing in a different mode than usual. Nile is full of toxic charm, a man clearly used to getting his way and not opposed to insulting those around him to get it. Danes sticks to what she’s best at. Aggie is so worn out by life that she could snap at any moment. They work so well together that you almost forget about the supporting players.

The Beast in Me boasts a deep bench. The likes of Brittany Snow, Jonathan Banks, Julie Ann Emery, and David Lyons all turn in solid supporting performances. Banks is a standout as Nile’s father, Martin. His weary take on the Logan Roy archetype provides a needed context for Nile and his upbringing. The writing sells these actors short, especially near the end, but their work remains entertaining.

While the plot gets unwieldy the more it goes on, The Beast in Me succeeds on the back of its actors. It’s easy to excuse a few missteps in the story when you have two characters this fun to watch. Rhys and Danes create a tension all their own. One that is as irresistible as it is intolerable. The type of magic that the algorithm can only hope to recreate.

The Beast in Me in currently streaming on Netflix.

Final Verdict: Tune In

The IT franchise gets more convoluted with Welcome to Derry

Photo: HBO

Want to turn your film franchise into a TV property but you’re unsure how to make it work? Try making a prequel! Are you worried that you’ll dilute the brand by creating a subpar product compared to the films? Don’t worry, it’s a prequel! Nothing matters when you set it in the past!

While I doubt many of the creatives actually working on a show like Welcome to Derry think that way. I can see a board meeting or two that went in that direction. The latest installment in the IT franchise, Derry takes the interlude chapters from the Stephen King novel and uses them as a basis for exploring the past of the town and, yes, the history of Pennywise. To say it’s a loose adaptation would be an understatement. Most of the action takes place in 1962, following a group of kids in search of their missing friend. Meanwhile, there’s a mysterious mission being carried out by the military, and Dick Halloran (Chris Chalk) from The Shining is there.

Those two disparate plot threads take up the bulk of the action in Welcome to Derry, but there’s plenty of other story beats to fill up time. There’s Charlotte Hanlon (Taylor Paige) and her family who are adjusting to their new home. There’s also the struggle of Lilly and Marge (Clara Stack and Matilda Lawler respectively) to fit in with the popular kids. The subplots successfully show that Derry is a sinister place where parts of everyday life become corrupted. The problem is that they often reiterate this point and have very little else to offer. These scenes exist to move us from one mysterious plot point to another.

With a whopping 15 characters listed in the main cast, there shouldn’t be room for padding, but Derry finds a way. The series creates stories for most of them, but never really establishes these characters. They all exist on the surface with nothing underneath. The kids are all neglected and traumatized. The adults are all cold and unfeeling. It all fits in with the established tone of the films, but doesn’t work as well in this longer format. The characters that stand out, like Lilly or Leroy Hanlon (Jovan Adepo), do so thanks to solid acting choices.

Like the films, Welcome to Derry is at its best during the horror sequences. Director Andy Muschietti helms the first two episodes and brings along the fun gross-out scares. Whether it’s a woman giving birth to a winged demon baby or the scariest version of The Music Man, Muschietti earns those jump scares. These scenes work so well that it feels like a drag when reality reasserts itself. Sadly, the show can’t be a straight hour of children experiencing their worst fears.

While it succeeds in parts, the series falls into the common prequel trap of overexplanation. The history of Derry, the dark forces that brought It to the town, and even the inspiration for the persona of Pennywise are all questions that the show aims to answer. The problem is that some things are better left unexplained. Pennywise is a clown because kids are afraid of them and it feeds off fear. That’s all we really need to know. Welcome to Derry attempts to answer as many mysteries as possible but fails to deepen the world it takes place in. It’s another corporate-mandated prequel that can’t live up to the hype.

IT: Welcome to Derry is currently streaming on HBO Max. New episodes air on Sundays.

Final Verdict: Tune Out